It wasn't an impulsive decision. I just felt that the time was right to get theredqueen out of Myspace. It is time for me to return to the simplicity, poetry and comfort of the word.

The site had its uses, and when R-kun introduced it to me in April, it was certainly a novelty. It offered me freedom and a different mode of expression, and I am grateful for it. Myspace allowed  me to meet  interesting people such as no-dy, Masser, Takashi and – even Ruki (Unnie might disagree, but still..) They made me smile.

But I'm weary of all the posers, the needy people, the egomaniacs. It takes a certain kind of person to be willing to update their profile daily with pictures of themselves taken from various angles.  Amusing, up to a point.

Some matters haven't been going the way I'd have liked them to >_<  Personal matters aside, I have to really get all those reading and transcribing done. But as Senpai would say, just do what you have to do, and move on. In any situation, the only thing within your control is your reaction -rueful smile-

Again and again, my thoughts return to the probably asexual Sue Bridehead of Hardy's Jude The Obscure, which I couldn't resist re-reading a few days ago. Despite her final capitulation to Phillotson, she had been strong – in fact, stronger than many would have expected her to be. Sue fought as hard as she could and she lost. She was vulnerable, and there are too many ways in which a person can be broken.

She is my favourite anti-heroine, and I disagree with Desmond Hawkins' critique of her.

 

 

Sue:

"My liking for you is not as some women's perhaps. But it is a delight in being with you, of a supremely delicate kind, and I don't want to go further and risk it by — an attempt to intensify it!"

" What tortures me so much is the necessity of being responsive to this man whenever he wishes, good as he is morally! — the dreadful contract to feel in a particular way in a matter whose essence is its voluntariness!"

and last, but not least:

"She, or he, 'who lets the world, or his own portion of it, choose his plan of life for him, has no need of any other faculty than the apelike one of imitation.'"

Yes, Miss Susanna Florence Mary. My sentiments exactly.